L to R: Santa, Hanukkah Man, Creepy Crucifix Dude
Each year since A. was born (except when in Portugal) we’ve spent Christmas in Baltimore with Amy’s family…this year was Christmakkah for the second time! Plus Shabbat! It was a regular ecumenical public service announcement, as the big Presbyterian tent opened wide to include Jews, Bahá’ís and Christian Scientists. After the schlep we had, there was room at the inn!
As noted, we had been planning to be in Israel right now, but it was really a blessing to hold off on that life experience until the girls
Eye to eye at the weigh-in with Santa
are older. The drive down reinforced that point in unsubtle ways. On the plus side, long drives open up space not only for screaming slug-fests but also for the occasional deep conversation. Today A. asked why all the manifestations of G-d (this is the Bahá’í manner of referring to all the founding dudes of the world’s religions) have been men. We asked why she thought that was, and she said she thought it was unfair because women give birth, feed people and keep everyone living and together–but that men had the power and everyone listened to them, so it made sense the manifestations were men. It was great to recognize in her this kind of awareness and questioning habit of mind, and we told her to keep it up and resist authority! except for your parents. And always say please.
High School Musical...celebrate where we come from!
We got the chance to meet up in Northern Virginia with some of my high school buddies and their families. We are coming up on a very significant class reunion in 2012, one that catapults years-since-high-school way beyond years-alive-at-high-school-graduation. I am grateful to still be in touch with this together, accomplished, and loving group of people (shoulder punch coming in 3…2…1…ow). Amy and I noted that of the six posse members in the photo, five married outside their religion/ethnic group/both (and the sixth sent three Christian kids to temple preschool and has a house full of menorahs), and the kids running around reflected that more hybrid/open reality that we are all hoping for in their future. On the other hand when we were asking the girls from different districts what grade elementary school went up to, one replied, “elementary is through fifth grade, then sixth to eighth is middle school, then you go to high school, college, and business school.” So the class/education barriers might remain pretty powerful.
A friend who I hadn’t seen in years turned up and immediately said how much she thinks of me and my family b/c of the loss of my brother Aaron. I was taken aback to realize how much I am The Guy I Know Who Lost Someone for so many people when they think about 9/11 and what it means to them. This is just reality–besides the caring words of this friend, who might have actually met my brother, there is a compulsion for anyone I encounter to confess to me where they were, what they were doing, how someone they knew was there but got out. I’ve come to take comfort from these moments where I can and I feel better for being “out” about my loss, but as this reunion approaches this moment made me wonder how we will all be defined for each other.
Given that we were pretty much amoebic sacks of pheromones and college acceptance letters when we graduated, there is a growing chasm of life experience, physical appearance, and everything else. As someone put it at our 10th reunion, it’s hard to recognize people when they are being so nice. So at the reunion, will I remain the future poet I was then, complete with paisley shirts and bowties occasionally worn in school to inspire confrontations with Metallica T-shirt-wearing dudes? The English professor I was going to be as of the 10th reunion? Family man? Vegan freakshow? Or The Guy I Know Who? Whitman said, “I contradict myself, I contain multitudes,” and I think we can all give a true dat to that. But how do you fit multitudes on the reunion nametag? This remains TBD. But looking forward.